What in the hell am I going to do with this blog? I think I am coming up on my three year anniversary and have absolutely no readership (except if I talk about Beyonce) and no commenters. I was thinking about coming out the blog closet and posting under my own identity; but I like the idea of being as raunchy as I want without repercussions. I don’t think it would matter if came out anyway because even the people I told about my blog don’t read it.
I have said this before but moving forward I want to start posting something every day even it just a ‘song of the day’. I could lower myself and talk about celebrities everyday but in general I don’t give a fuck; if I do talk about celebs it will be because I feel like it. That being said:
I haven’t been blogging this month much but I got seriously depressed all of a sudden. I am not sure what is exactly going on with me but I feel like its something physical. Like I really feel like shit, I believe it’s hormonal because I get like this from time to time around my period. I think I am exacerbating my hormonal problems with rough sex, weed, and alcohol. Anyway I feel pretty hopeless right now but don’t be worried because I have felt like this before and in general I just wait it out. Also I am DRANKIN right now so the next five posts will be of questionable content, spelling, grammar, and probably depressing.
I am going to start working on my blog soon. I have had this blog for a year and I have been doing the minimal work as far as presentation and layout. My goal for the Summer is to create a Zine like I mentioned in a earlier post. I also want to host a writing contest targeted at single women. In general my motivation is super low so I am doing one thing at a time; so bear with me if posts continue to be super slow in the upcoming weeks.
I been slacking on my blog again; I think I mentioned in an earlier post that I was ‘almost employed’; well now I am actually employed! So I have been working hard instead of entertaining my three loyal readers to this blog.
To honor you guys I am having a CONTEST.
Rules (very simple):
1. Leave a comment on this post.
I will randomly choose a winner by 3.31.11 and you will win a $25 Starbucks gift card so you can be jittery and nervous just like me! If no one enters than I will just drink up all that coffee by myself and get more anxious.
*If you happen to win you will have to provide a mailing address for me to send your card.
Oh my fucking god the last four days have sucked tremendously. First off I have the cold to end all colds; when I get a cold I spend a lot of time thinking about who infected me. There are so many possibilities seeing as the local transportation here (MUNI) is like a rolling Petri dish of people with leaking colostomy bags and folks that never learned to cover their mouths when hacking out their TB spores. There is no way to know for sure I guess but I have the same hacking cough that people have on the bus.
Another reason why life is sucking right now is because I fell down a flight of stairs and busted my ass. I was leaving therapy and was trying to text and thought the 5th step was the landing and just flew in the air. Trying to brace my self I hit my wrists and bent my fingers back; the worse part was fucking my knees up. When I fell down it made so much noise that I heard doors opening, I am guessing to investigate the crash so I had to get up real fast and hightail it out of there.
So I am sick and sore but I still have shit I have to do; but thank goodness I don’t have work till tomorrow. I have to clean my refrigerator I usually can stand the general griminess but tomato sauce leaked and it’s just gross so I have to clean it. I need to clean my apartment in general; it’s clean but I need to deep clean because something stinks in here.
Anyway things will look up soon I hope; when it rains it pours but the sun will soon come up.
I Love this song! This is the song I used to listen to when I was kid and fantasize about getting married.
I know I have been super slow on posting this month but I have a lot of shit going on. BabyDaddy, work, and money issues all combine to make me very unhappy. Anyway I am going to try to go back to three posts a day.
I have a love hate relationship with my grandma. She raised my brother and I after my mother died and just to keep it cute I will say she was hard on me. I have always been the forgive and never forget type so now that my grandma and I are getting old I have been trying to spend more time with her. Thus I have spent the last three days with her at an Indian casino.
I am going to be not politically correct and say that, black people are never on time! Yeah I said it! The bus was supposed to leave at 10AM and we did not get rolling until noon. After paying $100 for the two night one day trip the person running the bus would not leave until we all handed over another $5. WOW, but that really happened; it seems that due to the cancellations the tour bus lady did not want to be on the hook.
Once we finally got rolling they had ‘raffles’ and games that extorted more money out of the passengers. As usual it was an older crowd and that does not bother me too much but old people talk loud and fart a lot. After the prayer they started serving booze and it got louder but most people stopped complaining about being late.
Gambling is definitely for suckers and being a part-time sucker I spent about $30 of my own money. After that though I just watched my granny and she would shoot me $10 here and there.
Anyway this story is running on so I will cut it short by saying that it is really hard for me to relax but I had a decent time. My grandma is getting old and I want to spend as much time with her as possible because you never know.
I fixed you spammers; I fixed ya good! I was so tired of logging in a seeing there were a 300 comments posted and then seeing that they were all spam. I really don’t get comments on my blog but if I do now they have to be registered users. This will prevent the unwanted spam but unfortunately will make it harder for random people that want to comment. But whatever I really like my blog it does not matter if people comment or not.
I been slacking on my blog again. This working shit has been kicking my ass for real. It’s not just physically either but I leave each shift feeling so worthless. I am totally not succeeding even though I did this crap for years. I just don’t have the desire to help people anymore and even though I try not to be I am too personally affected by their sad stories. Even though I could benefit from a full time job just for the sake of my mental health I need to look into another field besides helping people with mental illness. Ok no more I hate work posts for now even though it is my blog the 5 people who read it might want to be informed about something else.