Bimbo Winehouse is one of my favorite YouTube personalities he took a break from videos and is now back to making them regularly. This video was kind of sad; he talked about Amy Winehouse’s passing and got choked up. I think he is right; we all are dealing with some sort of addiction and some overcome it while others die. My mom died of alcoholism so I understand the struggle I watched her drink that cheap ass Thunderbird till she croaked. I hope Bimbo fairs better than my Mom and Amy Winehouse.
These four songs share the same beat and that greatly amuses me; I am easily amused.
I wonder if I ever will be in love? The last couple of months have been a real eye opener; I have had a lot of encounters with shiftless no account dudes. All they want to do is fuck they not even giving me the chance to settle; not that I would anyway. We all know about ‘Random Dude’ but I don’t have negative feelings about that guy because he was really straight forward about what he wanted and I did not expect anything. I hate it though when people try to play you for stupid and try to trick you into some shit or treat you like a practice hoe (being treated like a prostitute without pay).
I mentioned a few months ago about this older guy that works in my building that was interested in me. We exchanged numbers and after a few months of texts and failed attempts to meet up, I figured he was married or something and moved on. I would still see him around the building and say my cordial ‘hellos’ but I did not have any feelings about it either way; plus he was not even my type.
But surprise surprise, while I was on vacation I started getting texts and phone calls from him out the blue. When I finally answered it was more annoying small talk, just please tell me what you want. Personally I think that this is growth on my part because in the past if a guy took the time to text or call I would get all excited but as we all know actions speak so much louder than words. So the Maintenance Man and I tentatively made a few dates to meet up for dinner; like I said he is not my type but I felt like a date would not hurt; but he flaked each time. So all of a sudden a few weeks ago he starts knocking on my door in the middle of the day this happened at least 7 times in 10 days. I was like “what the fuck”, so finally he calls me and is like “I come by your house how come you don’t answer the door”? Really I don’t know this dude from jack shit, why would he want to come in my apartment for? So I politely explained to him that if I don’t expect company I don’t answer the door and I am busy during the day if I am home. So sometimes I feel I am overly suspicious and profile most men as predators so I gave him another out to redeem himself of the idea I had of him; that he was another fucking loser looking for cheap sex and was not really interested me as a person. So I again asked him “do you want to meet for dinner or something”, and do you know what this motherfucker told me? “No, I was just wondering if I just come to your apartment for a cool drink of water”. Fuck you asshole, ‘cool glass water’ equals ‘quick head on your lunch break’; GTFOH! This is one example of what I have been going through but I could mention at least three different men that have stepped to me the same way.
I know men don’t want to be seen with me in public because I am not attractive but whatever; I am not going to be cum dumpster. So at this point I have given up on a relationship, I am not saying that I will never have sex but it will be on my terms. The hard part is that from experience I know sex is not good without an emotional connection but people are too busy scheming for easy sex to get to know people.
Aww lawd! I am visiting the one person that reads my blog so I doubt anyone noticed that I was on vacation. I am currently in sunny (freezing) Philadelphia spending time with old friends. There has been a lot of stuff going while I was away from my trusty (rusty) Dell desktop computer. Steve Jobs died. Nancy Grace farted. People were protesting in San Francisco.
My personal struggles have included relapsing on carbs and soda, chasing dick with mental illness, and struggling with being a pushover Vs. an aggressive bitch. Anyway if my flight is ok (and I pray that it is) I should be home tomorrow. Then I will back to not posting regularly on my blog.
I am posting this video of Toni Monroe I wanna be a BBW rapper now.