This video is so nice because it makes me think about what beauty is and that it comes in all shapes and sizes. This lady is seriously gorgeous but people would seriously look at her and say she is ugly.
People have always called me ugly but I am working on maintaining my self confidence no matter what people have to say about me.
Gay Pride is the biggest party of the year in San Francisco and the biggest display of human indecency that I have ever experienced; so of course I have to participate!
I am such a prude usually but during pride I usually get stinking drunk and act a fool with thousands of others; I am not sure what half the shit that goes on has to do with gay pride but whatever.
Don’t tell anyone but I work Sundays so I had to call in sick that day but it was worth because a friend that only visits once a year was here. I never plan to drink as much as I do but by the end of the night I vaguely remember doing tequila shots. This led me to making out with this hot gay guy and cornering some big chick in a corner and hitting on her.
Anyway it was all in all a good weekend props to mis amigas for making me feel apart of it all.
There seems to be a lot of dudes that love BBW AKA Big Girls AKA Fat Chicks but I never happen to meet any. I have a sneaking suspicion that plenty of dudes would fuck a fat chick but maybe very few that would date them seriously. Right now I am on a fat people dating site and I used to be popular but I added one little thing to my profile, ‘not interested in NSA or casual hookups-No long distance relationships’, now there are crickets chirping on my profile.
I put this up because from my past experience a lot of dudes troll for casual sex, pictures, and use long distances as a way to string people a long. Why I am going to chat with a dude that lives on the other side of the country; it’s not going to go anywhere. I am not pessimistic either I actually ‘dated’ a dude long distance I met on YouTube of all places and his ass is still trying to string me along.
Anyway I am sure I posted this rant several times in the last month I just needed an excuse to post this video. I am not quite fat enough to be in his videos but a girl can dream right? This guy lives in the Bay Area like me; I bet he is swimming in chubby poon because there are a lot of fat chicks here.
I am sure most of you have heard of the young black guy that was kicked off of a plane because his pants were sagging then a few days later it was revealed that they let a older white gentleman fly in a female’s panty and bra set. I usually never interject race or ‘pull the race card’, as people say but this is so blatant.
Obviously this young black dude got under the wrong person’s skin and it’s reported that several people complained and alerted the flight crew and when they asked him to pull up his pants he refused thus eventually getting him arrested for failure to comply with a flight crew.
The White dude has been flying like this for years and has videos and pictures all over that internet. So the million dollar question for me is, why is a guy with panties on ok and a kid exposing the tops of his boxers not?
Obviously the reason is that grandpa is white and our kid is black so US Airways should just cut this kid his check and give their people sensitivity training.
I am going to be honest I think sagging pants are ridiculous and look dumb as hell but that being said its also not appropriate to wear panties and a bra on a plane. The rules have to be blanket and consistent and when they are open to loose interpretation you have situations like this.
More examples of granpa lingerie modeling at the airport
I am not my hair! This song came out a while ago but its really relevant still. I shaved my head about a year ago because I was so fucking tired of being a slave to the hairdresser and my hairline was getting thinner and thinner. So I did something bold and was like fuck it. This transition was made easier by the fact that I was not working fulltime and the job that I did have had no expectations for my appearance. In the past I found that I could not find a job unless my hair was relaxed.
In the last 10 years I believe that attitudes toward natural hair have improved. Can you imagine that for so long that black women were taught to hate the very hair that grows out their head? I remember feeling intense shame when my hair was ‘nappy’ it was sign that no one cared about you enough to take care of your hair. These days though I get a lot of questions and compliments on my natural hair and I can honestly say; I love my hair!
I have so hit a wall; I am not motivated to do shit right now. I am not sure what I should be doing with my life besides making money. Besides my son I have not found an outlet and I am consciously trying really hard not to make him some sort of pseudo BF. I had a lapse today though when I took him to Bubba Gumps (some cheesy Forest Gump themed restaurant) and he totally freaked out and threw his shrimp at me and I was disappointed; even though that is what 4 year olds do when they don’t have a proper nap. I was disappointed because I wanted him to be good company but that is not his place and that is asking too much of him and crossing boundaries that may make him think I suck as a mom when he gets older. This realization led to a case of the sads and the epiphany that I need to get my shit together; either be happy lonely or find away to get the human contact that I need.
I don’t have a lot of people that I can talk to on the regular but I crave it and catch myself scrolling through the contacts on my cell and realizing there is not one person I can call. I of course have that issue with feeling over available and I hear from people when they are in need; for example this past week I have written resumes, legal letters, and some lady wants me to do her bankruptcy. When I get tired of doing people’s secretarial work my fucking phone does not ring.
Fuck; I guess I am ranting again but I am working on ways to improve I guess and not just bitching. I also take responsibility for being the go to person for so long even when I didn’t feel like it; I hardly ever say no. One step at a time though; for starters I am going to try some activity that involves others adults that I don’t know. Also work on not being to self critical when meeting new people. Ok, BLAH BLAH BLAH.
I can’t stand jay-Z he is very lethargic and lazy on the mic to me; also his ego… But I really love this song every time I think about breaking up with a dude I hear this song; It is also a really honest rap love song.
I left Alaska about 7 years ago it was the toughest and greatest time of my life in terms of personal development and learning about the world. So that being said I romanticized Alaska a lot and going back I thought I would bust a gut with happiness and not want to leave; but this was not the case.
I felt an overwhelming sense of blah my whole vacation, Anchorage is an incredibly gray town and it’s hard to believe that I lived there for five years. It goes without saying that there is some beautiful scenery in AK but most people are stuck in Anchorage with its four malls and two Wal-Marts. I guess not only did Anchorage change but I changed too, I am a mother now and I am over 30; I am not the naïve 19 year old girl trying to escape myself.
I thought about moving back to Alaska recently because it would be a better place to raise kids but umm I don’t think so. Anchorage has a high concentration of problems for having such a small population the number of drunks and druggies you can encounter within one block is ridiculous. It kind of reminds me that no matter where you live in the world you will need money to avoid social ills but the idea of being an average Joe riding the bus in Alaska is not exciting at all.
Anyway I feel stuck in San Francisco but even more stuck that I know that I cannot runaway to Alaska and I cannot think of any cooler places to go; I guess that means that I have to work on shit here. Sigh
I fucking hate crackheads; do you know what they remind me of? Have you ever had a perfectly good computer that has caught a virus? Every time you turn it on some bogus pop-up or other nonsense stops you from using the computer and after trying to get rid of the malware or whatever you just want to throw the damn thing out the window!
I have a crack uncle with a crack virus this nigga been on the pipe for like 25 years. He the type that talks about crack like it’s normal and we all have to accept the shit, “Yeah I smoke crack it’s my money”. I really would not give a fuck but somehow this lame became a single father and my old Granny lives with him (or he with her because dope fiends cannot maintain housing).
I know people get clean but I feel this dude is so deep in his addiction he loves rocks more than his family. He has no motivation either because we have enabled the hell out of him; I myself am done with that shit but the only thing I can know to do is stay away.
I have lived with baseheads my whole life and what I know is that shit makes people angry and evil now that I have been working with them in a more clinical setting I just really see that very few people get well. What happens more than not is that they draw you into their madness to somehow make themselves feel better.
So Blah Blah this is a rant but I am really tired of crackheads.